WHY WAS I BORN?

Sunday. 10A.M. 
January 11th
Guinobatan, Albay, Philippines
I was born.

According to my mom's account, I wasn't crying when I came out from her womb. I was black or shall I say blue. I didn't utter any sound. Because of fear that I was going to die, my grandmother brought me immediately to the seashore. My grandmother from my father's side ran along the seashore against the wind current so I could be suffocated. In that case, I could utter something, if, not cry. Luckily, my grandmother was successful. I cried out loud after some minutes of running. 


They asked the midwife what the cause could be of my bluish color, but the midwife suggested my parents to bring me to the nearest hospital.

Many doctors, one or two were specialist, justified that I was a blue baby.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/blue+baby 
"blue baby

n

(Medicine / Pathology) a baby born with a bluish tinge to the skin because of lack of oxygen in the blood, esp caused by a congenital defect of the heart"

Doctors told my mom that I was born with a congenital heart disease. An online dictionary defines CHD as follows:
http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/Congenital+heart+disease 
" Congenital heart disease (CHD) is heart disease in the newborn, and includes structural defects, congenital arrythmias, and cardiomyopathies. CHD is a defect of the heart that exists primarily at birth, and can describe a wide variety of different abnormalities affecting the heart. CHD occurs when the heart or blood vessels near the heart does not develop properly before birth. Therefore, the heart does not pump because it is not completely developed. Also the blood flow is obstructed in the heart of the vessels nearby, causing an abnormal flow of blood through the heart. Blood flow obstructions put a strain on the heart muscle causing the heart to work harder and beat faster. Abnormal blood flow usually occurs when there is a hole in the walls of the heart and may be an abnormal connection between two arteries outside the heart."


Since then, my mom didn't rest. She tried to look for some medical help. In fact, we went to many places just to look for a heart specialist, a cardiologist. We found someone in Laguna, Philippines, but he was asking for oodles of money for my surgery and operation. That's the time when my dad told us to have STRONGER FAITH IN THE ALMIGHTY because GOD IS THE ONLY ONE WHO GIVES US LIFE AND HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO TAKES IT AWAY. We prayed lots to our Almighty Father.


I grew up with lots of drugs and medicines to take. I grew up with my own medicine cabinet. I usually brought aspirin with me to school or to church whenever I needed to go to these places. I was too bony, just like a skeleton when I was in grade 2. Dr. Jose Felizarta advised my mom NOT to send me to school anymore if my parents wanted me to be alive.

Doctors also advised my mom NOT to let me work very hard. They also told my mom NOT  to make me suffer from a lot of stress. They also mentioned that my disease could be cured, but at the age of 25 this would come back. And if my heart attacks came back, my disease would be incurable.


To make my story short, I was hospitalized again in 2002. My system was bogged down. I was admitted at the New Era General Hospital, Quezon City, Philippines. Dr. Ong, a kidney specialist, was the one who assisted me. He said that I needed to undergo an operation, but the chance of surviving would be 50/50. I told Dr. Ong that MY GOD COULD GIVE ME 100% LIFE OR 100% DEATH.


He said it was impossible to survive without any medical help. Dr. Ong explained that I was suffering from Nephritis. The online dictionary defines Nephritis as follows:
" Nephritis is the most common cause of glomerular injury. It is a disturbance of the glomerular structure with inflammatory cell proliferation. This can lead to reduced glomerular blood flow, leading to reduced urine output (oliguria) and retention of waste products (uremia). As a result, red blood cells may leak out of damaged glomeruli, causing blood to appear in the urine (hematuria). Low renal blood flow activates the renin-angiotensin-aldosterone system (RAAS), causing fluid retention and mild hypertension. "


Nephritis was the reason why I couldn't pee. My body couldn't excrete and couldn't expel my waste. I was paralyzed in 2003. 


Every time my birthdate, January 11th,  passes, I always get very, very sick. I am just here inside the four corners of my room, can't explore anything outside, can't meet people, and can't enjoy. In fact, I always ask GOD.
" Why was I born?
   Why did YOU allow me to be borne ONLY to suffer lots?
   Why of all people on Earth YOU chose me to suffer all these sufferings? I'm not JESUS. I'm not good. I'm not as patient as YOUR BEGOTTEN SON. I am just a simple person. I have no power, no wealth, no treasure. I AM JUST NOTHING AND SICK. Why did YOU CURSE ME, FATHER?"


Often, I ask GOD the WHY's. Often, I talk to my Father. Very often HE answers me. HE GIVES ANSWERS IN THE FORMS OF MESSAGES, PREMONITIONS, EVENTS, AND HAPPENINGS AROUND ME AND ON EARTH.


My dad, mom, Andreo and Bern are all gone. They all passed away, even my favorite uncle Papa Boy. The two children suffering from a Congenital Heart Disease who were lying with me in the hospital, as I remember, when I was in grade two died at that hospital. I was lying in between. People who suffered from a renal failure who I knew and had undergone surgeries and dialyses all passed away. 

Here I am, still alive and can still sing praises to my Father who gave me a Congenital Heart Disease that affected my kidneys and my blood that gave me lots of food allergies and the weakest body. I was born sick. Still I am very, very sick. But I still have the voice, body, life, and strength to be used in GLORIFYING MY FATHER. 


I came out from the womb of my mom sick and nothing. I WILL GO BACK TO MY FATHER IN HEAVEN VERY, VERY SICK AND NOTHING. BUT I KNOW, HE IS GONNA TURN ALL MY SUFFERINGS INTO JOY AND ETERNAL LIVING and MY FATHER WILL CHANGE MY WEAK BODY INTO IMMORTAL ONE COME JUDGMENT DAY for MY FATHER WILL BESTOW ON ME LIFE EVERLASTING!